“A fans’ thoughts,” Dear Heidi
Going off Meds. Very tough. I’m a bitch right now. Feel entitled. He said he has no $ til the end of the month. He has no toilet paper here. Thank God I feed him. I guess I’ll get nothing for anniversary. Something is wrong here. I’m crying silently. I guess he told me he has no $ so I don’t expect anything … And for him a year is a big deal. Not for me.
Yes just moody. Detox for one more month. Over emotional and thank u in advance for the advice. I am quiet nowHigh-heeled shoeHigh-heeled shoeHeavy black heart️Kiss mark
Heidi’s “happy heidi thoughts”
You’re going off of meds? Or him? There are a few things here to hug and commend you about. There is a reason for the tears and it is very positive. You both are going thru a tough transition. Don’t forget “THAT!” Remember “THAT” when your going thru the pain, fatigue, confusion and most importantly the disconnection from yourself, that your being groomed, cleaned and prepared for the right and new direction. And it takes time because anything that causes you to “act out of character, (which is the norm of the real you,)” “the authentic you” “the natural you” is the hardest to overcome… in order for something to knock you off of your course or right direction it had to be super powerful. And “THAT” something which overtook your mind to the point of loss from oneself often reveals itself with a physical reaction called “tears. ” Tears are the “sign” that “something isn’t quite right,” and/or that isn’t quite the right place for you and needs to be re-directed. Welcome that feeling, it’s the beginning of you being re-directed and shifted to the right place. And, you subconsciously know that a little pink, and going nowhere pill is not going to change or fix where you should really be or who should be with. So it is absolutely necessary that you do exactly what you are doing and get off of it. Detox it. Eliminate it from your life forever! You will and are much better for taking that direction, As opposed to thinking you always need something that you really don’t need and makes you feel dependent. Isn’t “dependent” the relationship that you are currently in, giving you anxiety and making you cry? Whether we know it intuitively or not, the doctors, government, eventually society and your own environment say that we “need,” something, all of us, because we or this world isn’t ok. When actually, you have much more pain and anxiety being on the pills and “the just a little bit off “relationship then if you would just trust yourself and your instincts. There is no pharmaceutical drug or “just a little bit off” relationship that is a benefit to anyone, to you, me, your Dad, your mom, your dog, your tree or to any of us , as individuals, as a group, city, society, as a nation or to God or even yourself for any highest good. PERIOD. EVER! NO manufactured pill can hold its weight against our own God given driven right to have and own our own ability and power. Only you can make that choice to quit and leave “that” situation. But I say leave it all at once and if you find that you don’t like how that rainbow looks at the end of that outcome than you can turn back. But, at least give that rainbow a chance to show you all of its wonderful colors. Any rainbow that is right for you is never “just a little bit off.” That old rainbow is not meant to be your stripes or pot of gold anymore. Your Fixin’ up for a new one. What you needed 20 years, 10 years or even 2 days ago may not be what you need now and all those anxiety ridden feelings and frustrations are all paving the part of the foundation to pull you thru to a happy tomorrow. Embrace the tears and anxiety ridden feelings, your panic attacks are your prayer attacks. You are being answered. so just LISTEN! You can and will get thru this. You know that. You have before. This time you just may have finally needed to reach “the final straw that broke the camels back,” to insure that you are strong enough to ride the back of the right camel. Believe that “your” upcoming rainbow is a little bit brighter on the other side. And the pot of gold is a little bit fuller. So, forgive the past, let go and expect that you and your faith, hope and power trusts itself fully. Your hands are full now, let go… that new beginning has a weight all of its own and without letting the old weight down or “letting go,” you won’t be able to carry the weight of the new one or “the future.” Even a body builder tires and breaks. You just have to know when that weight is too much for you before you drop and break.
Whether someone has toilet paper or $ is irrelevant. It’s about what comfort level they want and can handle compared to what comfort level that you want and can handle. And the two may mix sometimes and may not mix at another time.
Quiet time😀 the right answer can only come when we are rested and still. You may just need to be patient with your self, mind, body and spirit while your weening off. I’m sorry, but nobody can go like a race horse in those kind of detox transitions. Your mind is going at one speed, left, (crying, fatigue) while your body is going to go right (rest, re-centering) These are the times that you need to be ok letting yourself sleep in, be lazy, pay a bill late, cry in bed and turn off the phone, because if you don’t you will continue to stay “out of touch” with yourself and that is the worst place to start or continue a relationship. You did not decide to date a pill. You decided to date a happy person. But, when that person taking the pill is no longer happy and present then your relationship becomes a pill and that pill becomes a problem.
Give yourself permission to love yourself in your own environment. Just right now. It’s ok if you don’t see your significant other everyday , especially if you can’t physically get there. Right now will pass, in 1 month it’ll all be over. Just know, it will pass and when it does… OMG, you will feel fantastic, like you are 12 again when you are done. Woo weeee:). Xoxo night Face throwing a kissHibiscusCherry blossomTwo hearts😴 “Quiet time” or “Happy Heidi Time” right now. I need “My Quiet Time” too, so I don’t get back on the wrong horse, or camel, or whatever animal comes along:)
And There’s another “Happy Heidi Thought” I’m Heidi Selexa with “Out Of The Friend Zone”
P.S…. “Hey, THAT’S MY CAMEL!!!!!”
P.P.S….. If you’ve ever been on the wrong camel (or Horse) for that matter and for whatever reason find yourself wanting someone who doesn’t want to be with you…. Break out of that “self-centered, righteous, they should be happy to be with me” comfort zone and TRUST that there is a reason why you are not together. Maybe if you get too close you may not like what you see, or vice versa. So take care of yourself, YOU, so you don’t find yourself down the road having to take care of someone else when you should be taking care of yourself.
A fans’ thoughts”….
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